NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.
We designed these shadesย to look good(r) and stay comfortably on your face whether youโre haulinโ ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina. Quite simply the best looking running sunglasses you can buy for less than $50.
Our MACH Gs are a classic aviator style made to give you the speed if you feel the need. Plus, this smooth, sleek frame means no unsightly imprints on your nose from those weird nose pads on traditional metal aviator frames.
Features:
- No Slip:ย We use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
- No Bounce:ย Our frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running, biking, beasting, or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.*
*Not tested at hypersonic speed, butโฆweโre pretty sure. - All Polarized:ย The speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing, polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
- All Speed:ย An all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you’re crushing beers or crushing your competition.
- Lens:ย UV400 Protection
- Color:ย Green with Green Lens
- Color Name:ย Buzzed On The Tower
- Free Mile High Club Membership – Included with purchase.
HOW CARL THE FLAMINGO CREATED AVIATOR SUNGLASSES
Once upon a time, there was a flamingo CEO named Carl, who loved friends, family and his employees–hahahahahahaha. Sorry. Couldnโt type that with a straight hand. Carl loved getting f***ed up on piรฑa coladas and everything else was just kinda whatever.
Carl even drank while flying, which is a gray area for birds. Itโs like drinking and walking for humans. Legal, but you might hurt yourself, or cause an accident. Remember those geese that got sucked into Sullyโs Airbus engine? Drunken bachelorette party. Entirely the geeseโs fault. Luckily, Sully put on his hero pants. But you already know that story.
Anyway, one day Carl was flying while wearing goggles and a big bag of piรฑa colada with a long snaky tube. He fashioned the device out of a vacuum cleaner some idiot turkey relative had given him for Xmas. In times of need — like the need to comfortably drink and fly — Carl could be surprisingly clever, like an avian Leonardo da Vinci. Or The Joker.
After traveling for hours, Carl landed on Hat Rin on the island of Ko Pha-ngan, Thailand for the Full Moon Party. In case youโre a loser, the Full Moon Party is a monthly all-night beach party with a wide spectrum of music (trance, reggae, drum, and bass), โfire skippingโ ropes and buckets of alcohol and various drugs. Carl was very excited.
Upon landing, Carl sauntered up to a couple of 20-something white people cheerfully appropriating Native American culture. With a grin, he yanked off his goggles and said, โWhat up!โ After a beat, they burst into derisive laughter. โItโs a raccoon bird, man!โ quipped the young woman wearing a headdress she bought because it was โcute.โ
They mocked Carl because the uncomfortable flight goggles left unsightly marks on his eyes. โRacoon bird!โ the couple who treated other cultures like Halloween costumes. โRacoon bird! Raccoon bird!โ Furious, Carl opened his mouth to curse at them, but he drank too much on the way, and projectile vomited piรฑa coladas in their open mouths.
Determined this would never happen again, Carl bought sunglasses and a bucket of drugs from a beach vendor. Then he disappeared into the woods. The next morning, he emerged with the worldโs first pair of aviator sunglasses. He missed the party, but invented the brilliance that became goodrโs first MACH G, cadetย green aviator sunglassesย named Buzzed on the Tower.
Carlโs aviator sunnies were later stolen by the CEO of a contact lens company that rhymes with โJosh & Momโ who time-traveled to the 1930โs and hogged all the invention credit. But thatโs a story for another time.











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